Supporting Senior Parents That Want to Move
The past few weeks have been interesting for me. I have received
calls from senior folks looking to make a move and for one reason or
another they have back peddled, changing their minds because they are
thinking of their kids or the task it to overwhelming.
Disclaimer: I am not saying in any way shape or form
that seniors can not make decisions for themselves! Everything is
relative as I can be seen as senior myself!
For this discussions sake, I am talking about folks that have lived in a home for many years and have adult children.
The folks that I have met with for the most part are physically agile,
alert and very much wanting to enjoy an active, vibrant lifestyle. They
just want to move for one reason or another. Ease of living, house is
too big, less worry about maintenance, or a new start.
I am not talking about places they can go, because we have as a
community developed many alternatives in terms of active adult
subdivisions emphasizing maintenance free living. In my market area,
we have many different options for the 55 and older group. We also
have independent living communities that offer apartment / condo style
living with all kinds of amenities within the community itself including
dining, wood working shops, exercise facilities, etc. I have
recently found something that I thought had been lacking and that was a
rental community geared to the over 55 group.
So, having said this, a senior has many different options available to them that were not available in the past.
How you can help when your parent(s) wants to move.
Recognize that it is a highly emotional decision.
Do Not put the guilt trip on them!! Do not say to them don't sell my
childhood home. There are some that might think this piece of advice
is silly, but believe me, I have seen it in action. The adult child
does not really mean anything by these harmless (or so they think)
comments. But, it does have a real effect on an older person that has
spent, in many cases, their entire life in this home. There are tons
of memories here and it is difficult to make that change. Don't give
them reason for doubt. See it as the positive step it can be for them.
Help them get their "house" in order. For many
that have been in a home for years and raised a kid or two in a home,
they have "stuff." Removing and weeding through that "stuff" is
daunting at any age. I do believe that older folks are more reluctant
to just pitch things that have function and are in good shape. Help
your parents find a place for these things be it a charitable
organization or the dump. Read
Peggy Hughes, Professional Moving Organizers blog,
for tips on this. After just going through a move myself, I do
understand how much physical work it is. Recognize that getting their
things packed and in order is a physical ordeal for someone of any age
and offer to lend a hand.
Engage in the house hunt with them. How cool will
it be for your parents to have what is considered common place today.
Imagine them having a laundry on the main floor, or central air! How
nice that they might have a garage or a new kitchen? Be excited for
them.
Help them with the financial aspects. I am not
advocating paying for their new home, although that would be nice if we
could do that. What I do mean is help them understand the costs in
reference to today's dollar. So many times I have seen someone say that
they can't afford this new community, because they don't realize the
value of their own place. It might be that they paid $17,000 for
their home and don't understand that they can swap it for a new one.
Do you think this is silly? It's not. Many of these folks
underestimate the value of their home and don't believe they can get
into something more suitable at a price that they would gladly pay.
If they are looking at a condo, help them understand the fee in
realistic terms. It goes for cutting of the grass, shoveling snow,
insurance. These things they are probably already paying someone for
now. So, what's the big deal?
Ultimately as adult children we need to think of what is best
for our parents and support their decisions as to what they want to do
and where they want to live. Sure, they can stay in the family
homestead. That's their decision, but when/if they want to move, help
to make it easy for them.
It's not about us this time.
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About the author
Carol-Ann Palmieri, a full time Real Estate professional in
Massachusetts for the past 24 years along with Al Mussi have helped
hundreds of families find, sell or purchase new places to live.
A former US Marine, she grew up in Walpole, MA... is committed to
the serving the community through various volunteer opportunities. She
attended MA Bay Community and Suffolk University and is committed
to constantly updating her Real Estate education.
Licensed in MA and RI...
Al and Cal's primary areas of service Franklin, Bellingham, Medway,
Millis, Medfield, Norfolk, Wrentham, Plainville, Blackstone, Walpole,
Milford, Holliston, Hopkinton, Mansfield, and Foxboro, North Attleboro,
Hopedale, Mendon, Millville but have resourses to help anyone,
anywhere....
Her mission.... To exceed your expectations!
Carol-Ann Palmieri
Al and Cal Realty Group
508-494-9061
Carol-Ann
Palmieri, a full time Real Estate professional in Massachusetts for the
past 24 years along with Al Mussi have helped hundreds of families
find, sell or purchase new places to live.
